


Breakable

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Unbreakable [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Someone Really Needs To Sit Steve Down And Tell Him Things, Steve Is As Upset By the Flowers Thing As I Was, Yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 13:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7054210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"He wouldn't make it, I don't think. At least not the version of Danny we all know and love. So just... don't be the one to do that to him."</em>
</p><p>Steve realizes there's a higher cost to his self-sacrificial heroics than he ever realized.</p><p>(Set immediately after the season 6 finale) ***NOW WITH EPILOGUE***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I _swore_ to myself I wasn't going to keep trying to fix current 5-0 canon. I _swore_ it, but then Steve jumped me and I lost all say in the matter. Damn it all to _hell._

The hospital room was quieter, now that Danny had fallen asleep. Everything was always quieter when Danny was unconscious, or not there, and over the years Steve had slowly but surely learned to hate silence in a way he flatly refused to look at too closely. Even when he'd been bleeding to death, he'd hallucinated Danny's voice rather than accept the quiet of unconsciousness.

_...you stubborn son of a bitch, do not die. Hey, listen to me, do not die. I am not landing this thing for you to die on me, do you understand?_

Steve pushed away the memory, pulling the curtain back to look over at Danny in the other hospital bed. His hand moved, unconsciously, to the spot at the very bottom of his rib cage where his new, smaller liver rested. A piece of Danny, inside him forever. He had to pretend to be blasé about it, like it was just something partners did for each other, because the other option was do something really dangerous like crying. Or... or....

Things he never allowed himself to think about. Things he specifically _stopped_ himself from thinking about a long time ago.

Which meant he should be focusing on other things, like the fact that Danny didn't have _nearly_ enough flowers. A few of the arrangements had been for him, re-positioned on a borrowed table now sitting at the foot of Danny's bed, but the difference between their collections was still too big. Yes, Steve had been the one shot, but Danny was the one who'd sacrificed the organ. He should be the one getting the recognition.

They sold flowers in the hospital gift shop, though, and if none of them worked he could steal his phone back from the nurse and order something online. He probably shouldn't put his name to whatever he ordered – Danny would think he was trying to humor him, and undoubtedly get pissed off – but he was sure he could come up with something even with the cocktail of drugs running through his system. Or, worst case scenario, he didn't have to say who it was from at all.

Of course, he had to get out of bed first. Not that it was too much of a challenge – Steve was an old hand at freeing himself from hospital beds, and while the gown could cause him issues he'd already talked Chin into bringing him some clothes for just such an occasion. If he was careful....

"Boss?"

He stopped at the sound of Kono's whisper in the doorway, moving his hand away from the IV he'd been about to yank out to gesture over at Danny. "Shhh. He's sleeping."

"And you look like you're about to run away." She moved closer, gently but firmly pushing him back down into the bed. "Which you should definitely not be doing."

He sighed. "Then you have to be the one to steal my phone back from the nurse and order Danny more flowers for me."

She smiled a little. "Lou's already taking care of it."

"Good, but that doesn't mean he couldn't use another one." Still, he laid back against the pillow. "I'd have been fine, though. I've snuck out of more secure hospitals than this."

"I'm sure you have, but Danny's already scared me enough these last few days," she said firmly. "I'm not letting you give him a heart attack so soon after he gave you a piece of his liver."

Steve went still at that. Something had happened to Danny? Had there been complications with the surgery he hadn't known about? "What happened? Why did Danny scare you?" When she hesitated, not even the drugs could stop the knot that formed in Steve's chest. "Tell me."

Kono didn't say anything for a moment, looking over at Danny's sleeping face with clear worry in her eyes. "I think we're all used to him being the sensible one, you know? The one that reminds us not to jump in front of bullets and makes sure all the paperwork's filled out. But when they were bringing you in...." She took a deep breath. "He wouldn't even let them look at him. He'd just been in a  _plane crash_ , had broken ribs and who knows what else, and he walked right back out of the hospital like it was nothing. We literally chased him back to HQ, and when Chin tried to suggest that maybe he should go back to the hospital rather than lead the assault on the drug smugglers who shot you...." The words trailed off as she turned back to Steve. "I was scared of Danny, just a little bit. I hadn't even thought that was _possible_."

Steve was frozen. He hadn't been there, but he was all too afraid he knew exactly what Danny had looked like. Steve hadn't been scared of Danny when he'd gone after Matt's killer, just _for_ him, but the pain that had been on his face would haunt Steve for the rest of his life. The idea that he'd been the one to cause Danny to go through more of it....

"He led the assault, not even stopping long enough to grab painkillers for his _still_ broken ribs, then came back here and gave you half his liver before the rest of us could finish saying we were willing to be tested. He must have looked up your blood type, at some point." A flicker of amusement crossed her face. "He knew it right off the top of his head."

Steve swallowed. He knew Danny's blood type, too, had looked it up after they'd only known each other a few months. It had been comforting to find out that he'd be able to give Danny blood if he ever needed it, and it humbled him to think Danny might have looked the information up for the exact same reason.

Kono squeezed his hand, expression almost sad again. "You have to go back to being invincible, okay? I mean, we all feel that way, but...." She turned back to look at Danny. "He wouldn't make it, I don't think. At least not the version of Danny we all know and love. So just... don't be the one to do that to him." Then she let go, walking down to the foot of the bed. "Chin has your stuff. It would be easiest if I just got your card and bought Danny something at the gift shop."

He had to take a few deep breaths through his nose before Steve was sure he could trust his voice. His chest ached in a way that had nothing to do with the surgery, a pressure that felt like he could explode at any moment. He was supposed to _protect_ Danny, not make him more breakable. He hadn't... he hadn't imagined he _could_. "Just make sure my name's not on it, okay?"

Kono smiled a little. "Boss, he's gonna know it's you."

After she left, Steve just watched Danny sleep, a thousand different thoughts running through his head.


	2. Chapter 2

Kono had used Steve’s card to buy Danny the biggest flower arrangement the gift shop had, a collection of 100 red roses that the clerk had apparently despaired over because it was ridiculously dramatic when compared with their smaller, more pastel offerings. All of them were vivid, heart-stopping red, and some distant part of Steve’s brain remembered reading somewhere that red roses were meant to represent romantic love.

Danny had made a tsking noise when Kono had carried it in. “Seriously, McGarrett, are you bribing these….” The words trailed off when she set it down on his table rather than by the window, eyes going wide. It looked surprisingly good next to the arrangement Lou had encouraged HPD to bring over, and the extra stuffed animal that Grace had said was from Charlie. “That’s not from my mother, is it? Tell me no one’s called my mother and told her any of this is happening.”

“No one’s called your mother, Danny,” Kono said lightly, plucking a card out from the bouquet and handing it to him. She carefully didn’t look over at Steve, which was the only warning he had. “It seems you have a secret admirer.”

Steve didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. He reminded himself that she was only playing off the regular jokes about he and Danny being married. She didn’t know. He’d made sure she didn’t know.

Her words from last night came back to him, circling around for the thousandth time. _He wouldn’t make it, I don’t think. At least not the Danny we all know and love._

Steve cleared his throat, forcing his voice to work. “See, I knew Governor Denning secretly loved you.”

“If he understood what it was like putting up with your crazy ass all these years, I’m sure he would,” Danny said absently, taking the card and scanning it as if he expected to find some sort of clue. “It’s definitely not Grace, because she would have gone for pink just to listen to me grumble.” He looked up at Kono. “You promise you didn’t let my daughter spend this kind of money to make me feel better, right?”

Kono held up a hand, her face the picture of innocence. She still flatly refused to look in Steve’s direction. “I promise.”

Danny looked back down at the card, his eyes flicking over to Steve. “If these are pity flowers, McGarrett, I will kick your ass the moment you are out of that hospital bed.”

Steve’s chest clenched, weirdly touched that he’d been Danny’s next thought after family and more upset than he should have been that the only reason Danny could imagine Steve giving him flowers was out of pity.  Friends didn’t really give each other flowers, he knew, but it seemed wrong that no one could ever know that he’d be thrilled to give Danny flowers every day for the rest of their lives.

Just like he hadn’t known that Danny had lost it a little bit when Steve had been hurt. Had it happened before? Why had no one ever told him? How much had he _missed_?

Some of this must have appeared on his face, because Danny suddenly looked concerned. “Okay, that’s worse than aneurysm face. Are you suddenly dying? Should someone be calling a nurse to save your stoic SEAL ass?”

Steve pushed the thoughts aside so he could focus on the moment. On Danny. “Just thinking about listening to you complain about the meal tray when it comes by.”

Thankfully, that was enough get a rant started, distracting Danny from asking more questions. “Just because decades of Navy food shriveled your taste buds doesn’t mean the rest of us….”

000

Steve had plenty more questions to ask, though he kept stumbling as he tried to find the right words to actually push them out to the world. It didn't matter as long as his partner was in the hospital bed next to his – he couldn't go to Danny with this until he had all the facts, until he could know for sure whether this was some leftover echo of Matt's death or if Danny had been really that worried about Steve.

But how could he even ask something like that? He was almost positive Danny hadn't talked to anyone else but Steve about the guilt he felt over Matt's death, the same way there was so much about Steve that only Danny knew.  And he couldn't even ask if they ever got worried about Danny when Steve was injured, because if they did surely one of them would have said something by now. Maybe this was really all about Matt....

That belief lasted until he had a talk with Lou, only a few hours after Danny had finally gone home from the hospital.

"Listen, Steve." Sticking his fork back into the takeout container he'd brought from Kamekona's, Lou leaned forward. "I didn't want to say this when Danny was still here, but you've gotta be more careful. You're gonna give your partner a heart attack before he's 40, and I'm pretty sure Grace would have a few things to say about that."

Steve swallowed the bite of shrimp that had been in his mouth, even though it suddenly tasted like sand. "This... was unusual circumstances." It was the first time anyone on the team had gotten this close to dying since Matt had died – except for Danny, but he knew somehow his partner wouldn't count that – and so the memory was fresh. "It's... normally he's okay."

Lou gave him a look poised exactly between "Are you insane?" and "You're a moron." "Really? Because I'm not sure he let himself _breathe_ the entire time Wo Fat had you. And that's without even _touching_ Afghanistan."

Steve's chest constricted, remembering opening his eyes in that military hospital bed and seeing Danny's face. Up until the liver, it was the most touching thing anyone had ever done for him. "He came to get me."

Lou just watched him, his face shifting into something too complicated to read. "Steve," he said finally, voice careful. "He saved your _life_."

Steve froze. "What?"

Lou gave him another long look, then carefully set aside both his and Steve's containers of food. "I was with him when he got the call, though we didn't pry it out of him until later that it was from Catherine. All I knew then was that Danny went white as a sheet, then ran out of there like his feet were on fire. I was sure something had happened to Grace."

It felt like there was a weight on Steve's chest, cutting off his air supply. "Where did he go?"

"To browbeat the military into getting him a damn strike force." There was an amused pride in Lou's voice, but his expression turned serious quickly. "That friend of yours helped, Joe, but Danny was on the phone with like six different people." He paused, remembering. "Wouldn't let any of us go, of course. Said that we should all be sensible and let the people who were experts at war zones handle the guns. All we'd be able to do is watch and worry." He gave Steve a pointed look. "He went, though. Said someone had to be there to remind the guys with the guns what their priority was supposed to be."

Steve could see it all so clearly he felt like he was watching it on a movie screen.  He'd figured Joe had pulled some strings to get him out, or that Catherine had convinced someone she had actionable intel. But it was Danny, who'd said he was there because Steve owed him money, who'd ridden into save him. Danny, who always saw things ending in disaster.

Steve closed his eyes, remembering all the times he'd been in hospitals just like this. All the times he'd leapt off the sides of buildings, run into firefights, or skirted the edge of some explosion. He could only imagine the number of times Danny had seen Steve die inside his head.

"My wife has admitted to me flat-out that the only reason she can sleep some nights is because she doesn't know half the shit that goes down while I'm at work." Lou's voice was almost gentle. "Not only does Danny _know_ all the shit you do, he's generally in the middle of it. That wears on a person, and on a relationship."

Steve forced his eyes open, something awful lodged in his throat. "Why didn't he _tell_ me?"

Lou shrugged helplessly. "I think the only person who can answer that is Danny."


	3. Chapter 3

The last straw came when Steve found out that Danny had been told to land the plane in the water, that it would be far safer for him, and had refused because he'd known he wouldn't be able to get Steve out of the plane. That he risked dying himself, on the off chance he could help Steve stay alive a little longer.

Steve signed himself out of the hospital early, just enough to avoid the "welcome home" crowd he knew would be there to greet him.  He went to Danny's house before he went home, and Danny didn't even bother looking surprised when he opened the door. "You know they had a whole thing they were going to do, right?" he said, sounding resigned as he waved Steve inside. "I swear, sometimes I think you get actual physical pleasure out of wrecking people's plans."

This would normally be Steve's cue for some kind of sarcastic comeback, but there were too many words crowded up inside his throat for anything less important to get out. "Kono told me about you going after the drug runners." The words scraped his throat as they fought their way out, leaving it raw. "And Lou told me about Afghanistan. I didn't find out about the plane until I read the report."

Danny went absolutely still for a second, like he wasn't even breathing, then he pivoted around and headed straight into the kitchen. Steve followed, coming in just in time to see Danny stop himself from reaching for something. He swore, slamming the refrigerator door back closed and dropping his forehead against it. "I can't even have a damn beer, because my liver's the size of an eight-year-old's and for all I know I'll end up tipsy before noon," he muttered, thunking his head against the surface. "Another thing that's your fault, by the way."

Steve just watched him, feeling weirdly lost. Nothing he wanted to say sounded right, or safe, so he reached for the words that were the closest. "I'm sorry."

Danny lifted his head, scrubbing a hand across his face. "Don't you fucking dare say you're sorry to me, McGarrett." He sounded exhausted, like a man who'd been treading water too long and didn't think he could keep his head up anymore. "Not when we both know you'll just jump in front of a new set of bullets next week."

The pain in Danny's voice cut like a knife, slicing all the way down to the bone. "That doesn't mean you have to jump after me, Danny." His own voice sounded too close to pleading, desperation jagged beneath the surface. His nights had been full of nightmares, new ones about crashed planes and surgical complications tangled with old ones of bomb vests, sarin attacks, and Colombian prisons. "You've got to keep yourself safer, for Grace and Charlie if—"

Danny jabbed a finger at him, fire suddenly back in his eyes. "Do _not_ use my children against me, you asshole. You, of all—" He cut off whatever he'd been about to say, shaking his head, then rounded on him again. "You have lost _all_ rights when it comes to telling people not to do stupid, dangerous things. _All_ of them. At my worst I don't match half the shit you do on a regular basis, and—"

"You crash landed a _plane_ , Danny. You went into an assault without even checking whether you were bleeding internally. That is _exactly_ the sort of thing I do." Steve fought to keep his voice even, trying to make him see how dangerous it was. "I know you always see the worst, but that doesn't mean it's your responsibility to stop it. You...." He swallowed, heart trying to push itself up out of his throat with all the words he wasn't saying. "Of the two of us, you're so much more important than I am."

Danny just stared at him, eyes wild. "Is that... is that some sort of fucking _joke_?" he managed finally, his voice sounding as raw as Steve's had.

"No, it's the truth." Steve stepped closer, hands half lifted before he'd realized they'd moved. He yanked them back at the last minute, fingers clenching to keep them from doing anything stupid. "I know you keep seeing the worst happen to me, and I hate the fact that I make you do that, but the truth is that even if I did die you'd be okay. You'd still have your kids, and the rest of the team, and—"

He was cut off when Danny grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him into the nearest wall, eyes hard and furious. "You have no _idea_ what my life would be like without you," he said through gritted teeth. "So _shut up_. _Now_."

Steve stared down into his partner's eyes, heart breaking at the pain radiating out from underneath the anger. _He_ was the one who had done this to Danny. "Maybe not," he said quietly, laying his hands on Danny's shoulders. "But I do know I'm not worth you hurting yourself like this. Please—"

Anything else he'd been about to say was cut off when Danny dragged him down for a kiss, violently enough that Steve wasn't entirely sure what was happening until the moment their lips slotted into place. Then everything was a different kind of blur, desperation and heat and _Danny_ , and Steve clung with the ferocious certainty of a man whose life depended on not letting go.

When they broke apart Danny staggered back, staring at Steve as if he couldn't believe he'd just done that. "That—" He shook his head at whatever he'd been about to say, rubbing a hand across his mouth. "You can—" He swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Shit."

Steve just stared at him, the entire world suddenly snapping into place. The words, buried for so long under the heaviest locks he could find, floated out of him as easy as air. "I've been in love with you for six years. No, wait." He paused. "Five years, 10 months and 18 days. That I'm absolutely sure of."

Danny's eyes snapped open, his face going slack with shock. "What?"

Steve inhaled, amazed at how easy it suddenly was to breathe. "All the times I told you I loved you, I meant it every way a person can mean it. I'm not sure when it started, but I do know I was already in deep by the time I got the Governor to sledgehammer Stan for you. That's what I count from."

"That was..." Danny dropped his hands, still just staring at Steve. "We hadn't even been working together for a month at that point."

Steve spread his hands out in silent apology. "You're the most precious person in the world to me, Danny. You always have been."

Danny sucked in a sharp breath, like the words were a sucker punch, but then his own expression shifted as if he'd just realized something. "And it seriously never occurred to you that you might be one of the most precious people in the world to _me_?" he asked softly.

Steve swallowed, feeling like the truth – no, it had never occurred to him – was too harsh for what stretched between them at the moment. "You kept pushing me to propose to Catherine," he said instead, the words quiet.

Danny winced. "Yeah, sorry about that. It's just... I knew you'd never cheat. It's not in your DNA. So if you were safely married, that would slam the door on any stupid hope I—" He cut himself off, shaking his head as if chasing the rest of the thought away. "I know it was stupid, but when I realize I'm being an asshole I have an unfortunate tendency to act like even _more_ of an asshole." He held up his hands. "Which is why Rachel left me, and you had no idea that I've been slowly losing my mind over you for like three years now."

Steve crossed the distance between them again, hand curving around Danny's neck. "I don't want you losing your mind over me."

Danny closed his eyes again, leaning a little into the touch. "Then don't jump in front of so many bullets, okay? That way, I can focus on just loving you."

"Okay," Steve whispered, so humbled and grateful there wasn't enough room for it in his chest. "I'll try. For you."

Danny opened his eyes. "You know that's insane, right? That you'll try and develop some self-preservation for me, but not for yourself."

Steve shrugged, lips quirking. "Like I said, you're more important."

Danny got this look in his eyes like he still couldn't quite believe it. "Like _I_ said, you're insane," he whispered. Then his lips quirked. "But I'll take it."

They were both smiling as Danny pulled him down for another kiss.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, sorry about this? But I realized this was technically a loose end, and... well....

Everyone had just pulled up to the hospital and was just getting out of their cars when a text appeared on the team's phones. Since Lou was driving and Chin was on his bike, Kono was the first to look at it. She sighed, holding up the phone. "Danny said Steve checked himself out early without telling anyone. He's at Danny's house."

Lou groaned, raising his voice as he waved everyone away from the hospital doors. "Back in the cars, everyone! McGarrett flew the coop!"

"Wrong animal metaphor, according to Danny," Chin said wryly, walking over to show Lou the text on his phone. _SuperSeal has swum the coop. Might as well move the party over to my place._

Lou shook his head, amused despite himself. "You really need to start giving Danny hazard pay for having to babysit Steve all the time."

Chin's lips quirked. "We've thought about it."

Before he finished the sentence, a new text appeared from Danny. _Ignore last text. Definitely don't come over here til tomorrow._

An instant later, there was one from Steve. _I will give you all bonuses if we don't see you until Monday._

Chin blinked, then the grin slowly started forming. When he looked up, Lou's grin was even wider. "I'd listen to the man, if I were us," Lou said, clearly pleased. "I have it on good authority from my children that walking in on Mom and Dad can be traumatizing."

He chuckled. "I can imagine."  He turned to where Kono was giving Kamekona and Nahele the news. "Kono, check your texts!"

She looked confused, then pulled her phone back out. He watched until her expression changed to one of sheer delight, pumping her fist in the air and doing a little victory dance she usually saved for destroying people at the shooting range. When she showed Kamekona the phone, he laughed so hard Chin could hear it from here.

That was when Jerry finally pulled up, clearly aware that something had gone wrong with the original plans. "Are we not going inside?"

Chin showed him the phone with Steve's text. "He's over at Danny's house. We'll spring it on both of them Monday."

Jerry's brow was still furrowed as he looked at the text, then up at Chin and Lou's knowing faces. He knew that meant he was missing something, but.... "But we could just move all this over to Danny's place. If it's because he wanted to rest—"

Lou's laugh cut him off. Chin, who looked almost as amused, raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say rest isn't really their priority right now."

It still took Jerry a second. "What... Oooooohhhhh." His eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really," Lou said. "Took them long enough."

Chin just smiled. "Remind us to tell you the whole story sometime."

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my new original fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)


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